Pride (according to Mr. Webster)- 1a: inordinate self-esteem (conceit) 1b: a reasonable or justifiable self-respect 2: proud or disdainful behavior or treatment. 3a: ostentatious display 4: a source of pride: the best in a group or class 5: a company of lions 6: a showy or impressive group
I never really considered myself a prideful person, but a proud person. I did not have a lot of pride in my life, but was proud of much in my life. get it? These last few weeks though, wow they have been rough. I was proud of my past ministry experience, but never realized how much pride I had because of it. I think that because of how deep I am in Ignite it's totally different from other churches I have served at.
Victory- I showed up on Sunday's... pretty much end of story.
Cornerstone- I was there a little throughout the week, attended the staff meetings and did my thing on Sundays. But really, I was just a fill in until their music minister came back.
Ignite- This is "my" (God's ultimately, but you understand) ministry. I am not just showing up on Sundays. I'm not just a fill in. It's "all about me" (but really, all about God.) I'm into this ministry so much deeper than any other ministry I have ever been in. I have put in hours on my knees for this church, in prayer, and tearing up a floor. Everything about my life- time, money, knowledge, sweat, blood- goes into this church. I live and breathe this place, my thoughts are consumed. If I'm at school, I think about the church. At Home Depot, I think about the church. This all comes after thinking about my wife much more of course! (I Love you Lauren!) but still, I long to poor everything I am out for the people of Ignite.
With this depth, has come new types of relationships. Different expectations than my pre-conceived ideas of ministry. It could also be because every other church I had ministered at was an "established" church. Ignite is 2 1/2 months old. Everything else I have been a part of was pretty much already sailing smoothly, I just jumped on the boat.
With Ignite we have all the challenges of a new marriage... It's weird, everyone has said that the first year of marriage is the hardest.... Really so far Lauren and I have had it pretty easy. We have jobs that pay the bills, friends that love us and have been incredibly blessed by God. I'm getting a better idea of what people talked about the first year of marriage from my church than I am from my marriage!
I've learned that sometimes I just need to shut up. I've learned how truly immature I am as a minister. Luckily, I have people that are willing to say, "Hey! You screwed up! Let me walk along side you and lets get this thing fixed!" I've also learned to ALWAYS put the seat down-- ok, this one refers to my marriage mainly, but now I put the seat down at the church too! Which is good because we don't have men's and women's bathrooms! We do have two bathrooms though, they just are "sexually designated."
Anyway- back to this whole pride thing... As of late I have found myself having pride more than being proud. As previously mentioned, I have people that are willing to point that out in my life, and because of that, I'm fixing it.
The whole prejudice thing... well, according to Mr. Webster once again
Prejudice - 2a: Preconceived judgment or opinion
That's exactly what we are about at Ignite. Taking the opinion of what church is as it has been known for the last however many years and breaking that opinion so we can be the church that God has called us to be. A church that leads people to become fully devoted followers of Christ. Not half devoted, FULLY. And most important, not followers of a church, a denomination, a religion, but of CHRIST. And, I guess while we are fixing everyone else's idea of how "uncool" church is, we might as well fix my preconceived ideas of what ministry is.
This post in a nutshell:
I am prideful- this is bad, and I need to learn to be more proud in what I have and who my friends are.
I am immature as a minister, but luckily, I have much wiser men helping me along the way.
Ignite changes everyone's thoughts about church, including my own.
God is awesome.
Greater things are yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city!
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